Family... if you look at nearly every American movie, family values are supreme values! And careful now, family is no laughing matter. This month's program features two films that prove just how far parents will go to protect their precious daughter from the Big Bad! In Commando, daddy Schwarzenegger goes on a destructive massacre. This 80s flick features Arnie as just a regular guy (with daughter Alyssa Milano) boosted on testosterone who uses super strength to tote phallic tree trunks and literally blow up an impressive number of mustached men commanded by an über-buff Freddie Mercury look-alike. 

In Last House On the Left, Mom and Dad bring on so much sadistic (and realistic) violence that Wes Craven (A Nightmare on Elm Street, Scream) was slapped with serious censorship problems. This brutal, unapologetic rape and revenge story is one of the great classics in horror cinema, but for those of you who might be fragile, just repeat the film's tagline: "It's only a movie, it's only a movie..."